Christmas Spirit

As Christmas approaches,I feel the stress of it closing in on me.  I am currently pushing it all off.  This time of year is the hardest for many people.  Mostly because instead of being grateful and counting our blessings, we now feel left behind.
Our expectations of Christmas have been reinforced by beautiful and unrealistic advertisements all over,  You cannot escape it.  It is on the radio, on TV, and it exploded in the stores even before Thanksgiving here in our town.  The pressure is palpable, and for some of us, it feels like a monster creeping up.

I always thought Christmas without children is not Christmas.  It is all about gifts for children and the tree and decorations are for kids and extended family to enjoy.  In my case, I have neither.  I am blessed to have a husband who doesn't feel the same way.  Since we got married, he wants the Christmas tree up and decorations.  For us!  just us.  He makes me feel that we are enough, we shall enjoy them as we like.  He also is not fixated on gifts, which helps a lot.

Christmas is not about how much in debt you can get.  People's love for you is not measured by what you buy them.  You don't have to run your credit card to the limit, and be paying for it all next year.
We shouldn't let the commercialism of this season bring us down and ruin a great time of year.
It is a time to rest your heart, and spread love, not spend and spend.
I found something on Facebook that made so much sense to me.

"The time of Winter Solstice is not celebrated as it was in the past, with the understanding that 
 is a period of rest.  Of going in to our homes within ourselves, and assimilate all that we have 
 gone through this year, as it approaches it's end.
As in nature and the animal kingdom that surrounds us, this time of  'hibernation' is 
necessary for our tired bodies and bogged down minds.

Modern culture has taught us to avoid this moment to the max.  Lights, shopping, excess work,            excessive spending, travel, meals and consumerism.

We should spend time inside, like all other creatures.  The weather is so tough and bitter that     
people feel feel that winter is harsh.  All the while, winter is in fact kind, and it shows us the path 
gently and calmly, towards our inner self.  Towards the annual time of peace and reflection,      
      embracing the darkness, forgiving, accepting and loving.

Winter eliminates distractions, and the noise, and it presents to us the perfect moment for rest and      retread into a private space like love, bringing fire, and light into our homes.  And then as the turn
off the corner, the new year will begin, and like a seed planted into the depths of the earth, we all        rise with renewed energy, to dance once more in the sunshine".

* The section in italics was posted by Adriana Consuelo on Facebook.  I am unsure about who the author is.  I did not write this, I just translated it into English.

Gift of Prophecy?

I want to talk about the main reason I am here, writing to strangers I don’t know, sending information

out into the world. 

I have done a couple of readings for myself. As I have mentioned before, my readings are for guidance. I used tarot and runes. I did one of each type around June, and one now. (yesterday)

I keep getting the message, that I should work on my gifts. And was shown to work on “seeing”, and on prophecy. That message keeps repeating in all those readings.

Sometime this summer, this happened. I am posting a screen shot of my post, and the picture of the page I read.

                              

I searched yesterday and I am looking for more information on what this all means. I have asked my spirit guides. “If I am meant to speak to people, and give them a message, how will they ever believe me?” I was answered clearly, “I will help you”.

 So now what?  I suppose I will keep writing in here, and hope to write something useful.  It is hard to spend time focusing on this part of myself, because work keeps my head spinning.  Between running there,  errands, and things that get in the way, it is hard to sit and focus.  Usually, by the time I am done with the day, I sit and crochet while watching TV, just for my sanity.

About charity

Having Empathy

I have noticed something disturbing happening in this town.

I was driving down Santiago Dr., and saw a man laying on the ground near a shopping cart. He didn’t look right. One leg was off the sidewalk, and he looked sprawled out. I saw three cars drive past him. Didn’t even slow down. I turned around to go check on him. More cars drove by. NOBODY cared to stop. One lady in a white minivan stopped on the corner, looked back to see if he was okay. I don’t know why, maybe she saw me, because she drove away as I pulled over. I went to the man and asked if he was okay. He looked up at me, and said “yes I’m okay, just need to catch my breath “. I asked if he needed an ambulance. He said, "No thanks". He said a spider bit him, but he’s okay. He had his left foot covered by a clean bandage, well placed. I asked if he needed help getting up. He again said thank you. But he would be okay. Just give him a minute. 

I waited a little. When I saw him sit up, I left. My problem is the lack of empathy from people. It breaks my heart to see people drive by and not even just stop and call an ambulance. (If they didn’t want to approach him). When my husband stopped to check on a man passed out face down in the gutter, he told me nobody stopped. Nobody cared. Even a police car drove by, looked and kept driving. He checked on the man along with a co worker. They called 911 for him. This made me cry, and I don’t cry often. (I knew I married a good man)These people are someone’s family. We are all God’s children. Where are all the people who speak of Jesus? I don’t understand. 

I don't know what what you believe in, but I know that most faiths tell us to treat others as we want to be treated. I know I’ll get bashed for this, but I sent this piece to "Moreno Valley Matters". I was in the phone with a good friend and loved one as I was driving home.  I told him what I saw, and I told him I was gong to check on that person.  He stayed on the phone with me, in case I needed him.  He heard all of it. I have a picture, but out of human decency, I won’t post it. I took it in case something else happened, and I might need it.. I only want to wake people up to being kind to one another, that’s all.

I understand some people would feel unsafe checking, and more so if they have children in the car.  But think of this, is that not a good example to set for your children?  To teach them compassion?  Anyway, at least pull over, make sure that person doesn't get hit by a car, and call 911 to report it.  Easy! People are always quick to pull out their phones to take pictures of accidents, or funny things.  Why not pull your phone out and use it for what it was meant to be used?  Make a call, and ask for help.

Charity

Someone in a private Facebook group said this :
"Bribing people to accept one's book for food, shelter, substance abuse assistance I take a HUGE issue with. Do your charity without an ulterior motive."

I keep saying that. If the person truly believes in Jesus, Jesus never put conditions on His love. He said love on another. He also said leave the judging to God. So why is it that I decide to give someone a couple dollars to help, I get silly comments?.  I am told, "Oh don't give them money, they will use it for booze". I have answered that before.  I said, "I'd use it for booze too if I was cold, homeless and hungry. And besides that, I gave it to them, it is now theirs and they do what the want with it. Not up to me, I don't judge people. If I can help I will."

I am basically Christian, but I have seen Christians walk around a homeless person like they were contagious. All the while going into a restaurant for breakfast after Church. Sometimes it makes me hesitate to tell people I am Christian.  

My husband and I had gone to church, and after that, we went with a group from church, to breakfast.  We all waited outside the restaurant, for a spot to open.  As we were being called in a man approached us slowly and shyly.  He asked if we had some spare change, I asked the person to wait so I could get change. The others in the group just walked around him trying not to look, but also not going anywhere near him, as they went inside. It hurt to see that they really didn't learn anything by going to church. My husband stayed with me, and we caught up with them inside. And again, there was the question, "why do you give them money? they will spend it on booze, if you want to give, give them food." I was so upset, more disillusioned, and disappointed that people whom I thought had learned compassion, love and understanding, seemed not to know how to apply that in real life.

I have not read the Bible lately, but I read a lot of it when I was little, and some when I was an adult.  I know for sure that Jesus taught us to love without conditions, or exclusions.  Which leads me to something that really feels wrong.  He never told us to love only people that have our beliefs, or only people our color, or only people of a gender we approve of.  No, He said, "love one another as I have loved you."  And if you wish to disagree with Jesus, I respect your views, but..  most religions or faiths in this world teach love, compassion and understanding.  Most religions tell us to treat others as we like to be treated.  It is that simple.

I want to address the part that I just said feels really wrong.  Where do people get off telling gays, lesbians, transgenders and others (would be a long list), that they are not accepted by whatever church?  Some churches do accept, but many don't.  They keep twisting the words in the Bible until they fit their needs.  Many will argue with me that it is not natural.  I say to you all, "God doesn't make mistakes!".  No human has been an accident or a mistake, we are all God's children!  He made us all, and rejecting some people because they are different, saying God doesn't love them, it is totally unacceptable.  Because you are telling God Himself that he made a "mistake".  That is offensive to the God you all keep saying you love and respect.  

So please, we should all just get along at least.  We don't have to be all the same, because then we would not learn anything in this life.  It is our differences that make us beautiful.

If you truly want to help others, then help them.  Don't put conditions to your generosity.  Don't judge people by their appearances, you don't know what they have been through.  Don't worry about what they will do with what you give them, just give.  Don't just preach about love, generosity and compassion, unless you are willing to walk the walk.  Don't tell others what they should do, you do your thing and let others do theirs.  (unless they are putting someone in danger, obviously)

Africa and Souls in Purgatory

I went to church with my mom and later on, with my mom's family every Sunday until I was 18, it was then that I said I was now an adult, left home and stopped going to church.

The priest would always have some collection going, to send for missionaries in Africa.  It bothered me in two ways, and still I wonder now.

Why force people to convert to your beliefs?  Why tell them you will give them food and help them improve their lives, if only they "convert"?  

Today, I still see churches of different denominations collect money for Africa.  Why Africa????  Why not help feed, clothes and house the needy in this country, our country?  Should we not take care of our own home before we go try to help others?  Africa should be rich by now!  Money has been sent there since I can remember, I am in my forties!

The other thing that bugs me is that when I was growing up, I was told to pay for a mass for the souls stuck in purgatory, so they can be released to Heaven.  Especially in case my mom was being held there.  What is this? my mom is in prison?  Heaven-prison?  I told my aunts, my mom was wonderful, loving, respected, selfless.  Why would I think she got stuck somewhere before getting to Heaven?  Why would a loving caring, forgiving God and Father, hold her from coming into Heaven?  They told me my mom was good, but not perfect, go donate money for a mass.  So I collected my allowances and paid for a mass.  This still confuses me, and I could never believe that I could pay to get her out of purgatory.  Is this a bribe to God?  Is this like bailing her out of "heaven prison"?  Very confusing stuff indeed.  

I firmly believe that God is a loving forgiving father.  He wants us to succeed, to learn to be better.  I doubt He's setting us up for failure. So why am I paying a priest to get souls out of purgatory?  What extra special power does a priest have that makes him that awesome?  Just saying.

Questioning Catholic teachings

I will start on one of the many thoughts I have had, one of the earliest ones.

I was raised Catholic, but since I was a child, I never understood religion.  My mom raised me right, she instilled in me very good values and was a wonderful loving mother.  Somehow, I kept questioning religion.  I learned my catechism, and did my first communion and confirmation, because I was trying to be a good daughter.

It started when I asked my mom why it was, that the Bible tells us that we can pray to Jesus, and worship only Him.  So why then, were there saints in the churches, and people pray to them?  She said saints intercede for us, they speak to Jesus for us.  I still insisted that I can pray to Jesus myself, and didn't need extra help.  I am still trying to figure this one out even as an adult.
I now ask angels and spirit guides, to help me along my journey here on this earth.  I receive signs and help often.  I am grateful to them, and I try not to ask for help too often.

I also pray every night, and I give thanks to Jesus for giving me all that He has.  I feel grateful and blessed often.  I have had hard times in life, and I always had an understanding, since I was a child, that God has His reasons.  He leads us on a path that we chose.  I chose this path before I was put on this earth, because I have lessons I need to learn.  I have gone through difficulties in life, so I learn what I didn't learn in past lives.   I feel like I am in school, I chose to take the classes needed to pass on to the next grade.  My goal is not to "graduate" or be perfect.  My goal is to be better today than I was yesterday.  My goal is to learn from my mistakes and grow to be a better person.

There have been things in my life that I didn't understand.  My mom was patient and very open minded.  She told me that sometimes, we won't be able to explain some things away, so they should be just taken "as is", or I will drive myself mad trying to explain things away.  The first of which, was experiencing spirits around me since I can remember.  I was 5 when they started making such a racket in the middle of the night, it was making me upset.  Not scared, just annoyed.

The next unexplained thing, was the way I understood things when I was that young.  I was 11 when I dreamed my mom died.  I was so upset, and told her about it.  She told me not to worry about it.  I was more upset by that, because that is what she told me in the dream.  I still remember it!  After that, the dream repeated and progressed, and repeated.  My mom went into a comma a few months after this and died 10 months later.

I still do not understand why I have these premonitions, when there is nothing I can do to prevent it or change it.  I do not understand the point, my husband says I will understand one day, that Jesus allowed me to see these things for a reason.

I had issues when she died.  I had been staying with her family in Mexico.  I had only spent some time in the summers there before.  There is so much to say about this, I will try to focus, please excuse my attention span.

My mom went in to a comma in May, 1981.  I was taken to visit her often at first, I was asked to talk to her, see if I can bring her back.  I tried and tried.  I felt awful wondering if she could hear me, how terrible she must have felt that she couldn't answer me, or come back.  Like being trapped in a silent room.

It was about September, when school started, that I asked to speak to my legal guardian (who didn't live with me).  I asked if he could please request that the life support machines be disconnected, and my mom set free.  If she isn't there anymore, why keep her body working?  And if she is, do you think she is okay with being trapped in there?  Kept alive by force?  The message was passed on to my uncle, who was my legal guardian.

I received a message back, saying that I was a cruel child, and wanted my mother dead.  After all she had done for me and she had loved me so very much, I wanted her dead.  I told them, she is already gone, please let her go.  Their words still hurt, but I had to try, because who else would fight for her now?  They took her off life support in the end of November or so.  She died on the 10th of December.

My family kept asking me why I wasn't looking distraught, why I wasn't crying.  Don't I hate God for taking her?  I told them that I cried a lot when she went into the hospital. I knew she wasn't coming back when she went in.  I now felt comfortable knowing that she is with God.  She is in a good place, a place she earned.  She is safe and happy, not hurting or trapped on this earth in a body that wouldn't work. I also said that I cannot hate God, because my mom taught me that God has His reasons and I should not question His decisions.  Now if you can explain to me how a child can say these things?
I missed her so much, I was hurting, but I had to accept God's will.

What I did not tell them, is that I knew when she died, before they did.  I felt it that night.  I remember standing in the bathroom upstairs at my aunt's house.  I was looking in the mirror, when the call came.  The next morning, I woke up to her saying good bye.  I know how hard it was for her to leave me.  But I think she knew that I had learned enough from her to be able to make it, emotionally and with faith.  I felt her touch my hair one last time, and she left.

This changed my life in so many ways, and it had part in making me who I am today.  Maybe she saw my spirit guides and angels who would take care of me after she was gone.  I have felt them since, and heard them along the way, but never realized who they were until about 12 years ago.

There are so many things that the Bible and the church never prepared us to open up to.  The church insists in controlling us to their advantage.

I feel much more comfortable going to a Christian church, or a non-denominational.  People are (supposed to be) more open and accepting.  But I will speak of that later.

This picture is the best illustration of what it felt like.  I do not look like that little girl, and I was older.  But this is exactly what it felt like.  I could hear her in my mind and heart.  She didn't know I could hear her.  I pretended to be asleep, I thought it was one of my aunts, and didn't want to talk. But I heard the thoughts "Poor child".  A few minutes after this, I heard a loud knock at the door (I was sleeping in one of my cousin's bedrooms for that night).  I heard my aunt yelling that I knew better than locking the door, since it wasn't allowed.  I told her I didn't lock it.  I got up and yup, door had been locked and latched from the inside.  I was the only one in there.  I know I didn't lock it; children were never to lock doors in the house.